Bound and Gagged has the skinny on the hella-creepy anti-porn activist who used to like pictures of little kids and blames it all on porn.
Sounds to me like a weak-minded individual who in the aftermath of his arrest was likely reeducated at the behest of the state, internalizing the old-guard feminist messages he was given. He is probably tremendously conflicted in regard to his sexuality, and likely gives those anti-porn feminists the heebie-jeebies just being in the same room. Meanwhile, they accept his alliance because they hope that such a man might be proof of the possibility of conversion of the male species, and because he does such a good job of mouthing their platitudes. He in turn hopes for some measure of redemption from his wicked urges. I picture him looking around the room tentatively after he speaks, hoping for some sort of look of approval from any woman. You know, all furtive and dirty, all shameful and obsequious. Why do they allow him around, you ask?
Perhaps if you believe that all men are potential rapists who only lack a perceived lack of consequences and the pornographic inspiration before raping and pillaging everything in sight, then our friend Kyle here is only partially responsible for his actions, as they were different only in scale from that of every other man, and in the light of his recanting his crimes and pursuing rehabilitation whole-heartedly, it's only fair that he be permitted to stand as a role model for other men. I mean, what do you expect from a group of people who equate intense male-dominant sex with rape?
Because that's really the crux of it, isn't it? If you watch porn you will want to have porn sex. Okay, I'll buy it. I'm pretty sure I wanted to fuck a girl in the butt before ever seeing anal creampies 7, but okay. But the thing is that a porn scene is consensual. That is what makes the submission hot. Even if you're watching simulated rape, you know it's not rape, even if it's indistinguishable from the real thing. And if in the unfortunate event of someone being stupid enough and cruel enough to actually rape a girl on film, and we're sitting there whacking it to this actual rape, what we're perceiving is still not the hotness or acceptability of rape, but the desirability of SIMULATED rape. And that's for the minority of guys who even like simulated rape (I'm kinda meh, myself). And it has nothing to do with the real bedroom. Because honestly, my dick knows if she's into me, and without the 'fuck me' pheromones, or the look on her face, or the lustful grabbing hold of my cock, I'm sorry, I'm not maintaining an erection, it's just not happening. Intimidated, uninterested girls are not fun to be in bed with. They smell wrong, for one, and I have to think that most guys are in fact the same way, even most vaguely creepy guys, who are usually just lonely homely people with low self-esteem. And that's why you can't equate notions of masculinity with rape and expect any society on earth to ever take you seriously. It's asinine; almost all men know this intuitively, and most women understand it. Violent rape is not hot. Date rape is not hot. It sucks for both parties. Realizing your partner isn't tentative and nervous so much as wildly uncomfortable is a sickening feeling for any real man. Someone who could even finish with that realization is a sick exception. Rape is fundamentally unsexy, whatever awesomely raunchy filth you get off on, and it sometimes seems like the only people who don't understand that are anti-porn activists and rapists.
So if intense male-dominant sex as found in porn isn't actually related to rape, then what's wrong with porn sex from an anti-porn feminist perspective? That's where we start getting into gender roles, namely the male-dominant aspect of most porn. There would appear to be a sense that women's sexual identity should be focused around submitting to a man. They call porn male-centric, and suggest that women who enjoy submission or promiscuity have merely internalized male desire, as though desire was something easily changed, a mere unfortunate artifact of culture and nothing more. Perhaps they fail to see the irony of anti-porn feminists arguing vehemently against Christian-based homosexuality re-education camps, then turning around and getting all buddy-buddy with the insane anti-porn fundamentalists who run those same camps. Though I find it ironic, I do not find it surprising; their argument in this regard is the same: if your culturally imprinted desires do not fit within our guidelines for acceptable sexual preferences, you are suffering from mental illness and could sure use a good strong ideological wake-up call for the good of all humanity and the preservation of our children's future. In other words, your desires are wrong.
Now, it would seem to me that what is important is encouraging society to allow those of all sexual persuasions to live without oppression and fear in an environment of equality. We need to recognize that sexual preferences outside the cultural imperative are still valid. I think it's also important to note that sexual submission is not inherently unequal in that it does not preclude treating one another as equals on a day-to-day basis, nor is it inherently disrespectful, hateful, or degrading to women, though I would be remiss to suggest that misogyny is not often found among the BDSM crowd. It as a sexual preference will never go away. It cannot be legislated or educated into non-existence. Nor can its opposite, with a submissive male. Neither can the tremendously popular respectfully casual sexual union between relative equals. Promiscuity will never go away. Prostitution will never go away. Pornography will never go away. At most these things can be oppressed, with all of the negative effects on individuals that goes along with any form of oppression. But it's also important to understand that making love will never go out of style, that feeling connected to someone you cherish will absolutely always be an integral part of the human experience, whatever other sexual desires exist within society at any given point.
As far as rape goes, I think the most important factor in reducing the far-more-common date-rape is one of comprehensive sex education. For one, acknowledgment that there's nothing wrong with a girl liking sex means more respect for the sexual autonomy of women. But more than that, being comfortable with sex in general means building the skills to guide the situation into an activity that you do feel comfortable with. It enables you to negotiate desire, because you are comfortable discussing it. And besides, if the foreplay is good, there's less likelihood you won't want to fuck. I'm just sayin.
So despite what you've heard, men are not evil rapist fucks, porn is not bad for you, some sex workers actually do like their jobs, anti-porn activists are uptight assholes, promiscuity is a totally valid sexual preference that doesn't mean you're a weak person, and you can't increase equality for women without sexual freedom. Also, Kyle Payne is a total douche.
